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Rating:
* * * * +
Type: Water ride
Time: 5 minutes
Kelly says: A scare-fest for kids of all ages
Welcome aboard, as Captain Jake takes you on a sightseeing tour of peaceful Amity harbor. As the waiting line snakes toward the dock, you get your first inkling that something might be amiss. Television monitors broadcast an appropriately hokey local news show about the strange doings in Amity, complete with interviews with the real Sheriff Brody (who complains that Arnold Schwarzenegger would have been a much better choice than Roy Scheider to play him in the movie).
The conceit, of course, is that you are in the real town of Amity and that the blockbuster film Jaws was not fiction but fact-based. One not unwelcome by-product of the film is that the sleepy town is now a major tourist draw, allowing Captain Jake to make a good living as the best — make that the only — sightseeing company offering visitors tours of the island.
As your tour boat is about to leave the dock, your friendly but cocky guide shows off a grenade launcher for effect. He tells us that, since the great white was killed way back in ’74, Amity’s been pretty peaceful. He points out Sheriff Brody’s house on the left and then heads out of the harbor.
This being a Universal ride, it doesn’t take long for things to go ominously amiss. A crackling, fragmented radio transmission from Amity 3, a returning tour boat, is a clear signal that danger lies ahead, but the guide assures us nothing’s wrong. A turn around a rocky promontory reveals the other tour boat shattered and sinking on our left. A huge dorsal fin breaks the surface, we feel a slight bump as Jaws passes beneath us, and the thrills begin.
Jaws (for that is the shark’s universally agreed-upon name) breaks water on our left, showing off his gaping maw and savage teeth. Our now panicked tour guide fires off a few grenades but they go wide of the mark, sending up harmless geysers of water around his target.
A quick turn into a dark boathouse promises safety, but we know better. The edgy nerves of fellow passengers provide much of the fun here until Jaws himself crashes through the wooden boathouse on the right.
Back out in open water, we’re in for another close call as Bridle’s shoreside gasoline depot erupts in flames. The heat on the left side of the boat is intense and a wall of flame blocks our way. Our intrepid guide steers straight for the conflagration as our only route to safety and, mercifully, the flames die down to let us pass. Relief is only momentary, however, as Jaws lunges at the boat from the left, lifting his head high out of the water. The guide nudges the boat into a gap in a floating dock where an electrical cable has fallen into the water. Jaws lunges from our left again but this time he gets the cable before he gets us. He dies in a spectacular shower of electrified water and sparks. A little farther along, what appears to be his charred corpse bobs to the surface. But there’s life in the old boy yet and he makes another attempt on the hors d’oeuvres floating by. A final volley from the grenade launcher and we are at last out of danger and glide back to the dock without further incident, barely five minutes after we left.
This is a water ride and, as you are informed several times before embarking, you will get wet. Some people just don’t seem to believe it. One of the extra added amusements of this ride is watching fastidious tourists take out a tissue and carefully wipe off the damp seats before sitting down. Don’t bother. There’s a lot more where that came from. If you come to the park in the winter, when temperatures can be on the cool side, you might want to consider protecting yourself with a cheap plastic poncho.
The best seats in the house. Where you sit can make a difference on this ride. Inveterate thrill seekers will not be satisfied with anything but the outside seat, whichever side it’s on. On balance, the left side offers the most thrills, especially the furnace blast of the gas depot explosion. The right side has the best view of Jaws’ entrance into the boathouse. My favorite seat is the far left of row five. Since Jaws rises from the water, those on one side of the boat will have a slightly obstructed view of his appearances on the other side. The obvious solution is to take this ride more than once. Early risers, who get to the park before the gates open, can usually cycle through the ride several times before the lines become too daunting. I highly recommend riding Jaws at dusk when the special effects are particularly spectacular.
While there is a certain shock value to be derived from the element of surprise, this ride is not truly scary. At least for most grown-ups. Little ones may disagree. The shark, while a masterpiece of clever engineering, always betrays its latex and aluminum origins, at least close-up. Still, this doesn’t detract from the fun, especially the first few times. As you take your third, fourth, and fifth turns around the harbor, you’ll probably find yourself deriving equal enjoyment by looking behind you to see the gasoline depot automatically reconstructing itself in preparation for the next boatload of happily terrified tourists.
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